a day in history

i originally created this blog as an outlet for my feelings a few months after my husband was killed, hence the title of my blog. ill write about what happened to him at another time. today is 09/11/09 - the 8yr anniversary of this day. earlier over at facebook a friend asked "what were you doing when you found out about the WTC in NYC?" i so remember the day that changed history: ben had dropped me off at the office we had in Ft. Collins, CO and went to pick up his mom and a acquaintance/friend who was to revamp our office computers. he called me and said 'you not going to believe what happened, log into the internet and go to cnn then call me back in a few." so i log on... i spent about an hour at cnn online, then called my mom at work in NH. her boss told me she had taken a sick-day - so unlike my mom do do that. well i called home (2hrs. ahead of us) and woke her up. she had been in bed all morning and had no idea what was happening, so she went and turned on the tv and said she would call me back. i called ben back and he asked 'how are you and the baby doing with all this?' i was 8months pregnant at the time with our first child. i was in 'shock & awe' mode, just like him and asked him when he was coming back to the office. i didnt want to be there alone since at this point no one was coming in for the day. he came, picked me up and we went back to the hotel where his mom and the others were staying. we sat in the lounge there for a while watching whatever news channel was on the screen. eventually we did go back to the office and the computers were revamped. at the end of the day, we ended up at home feeling exhausted but not wanting to sleep with all the tv coverage still going on. i cant remember what time we finally went to bed. even the next day at work, we continued to follow the coverage online and talk about it with the others in the office.

i looked back now and wow, on this day every year i feel the raw emotion it still creates. for me it is like another surreal moment in my life.